I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
