do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
