so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
