Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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