I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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