no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
