I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I will be naked everywhere
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
