I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
