dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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