so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
