i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
