I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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