I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
