At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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