Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
