just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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