she looked like the bat from fern gully.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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