apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
