Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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