It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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