Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
