I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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