Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize