I love black thongs
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
