Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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