So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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