no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
