Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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