just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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