a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
