Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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