What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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