You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
