Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
