Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
