were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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