I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
