So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
