I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
