Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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