3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
