the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
