just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
