i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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