So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
