scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
