He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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