the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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