i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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