the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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