Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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