It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
NoShamevember. You game?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
