There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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