I think I am morally bankrupt
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
