ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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