You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
