But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
