How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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